Tuesday, December 15, 2009

We're Off...

We are taking off for Minnesota on Friday afternoon and we are so excited. Doug has a 2 week break from school again this year! We love to see all the family and spend Christmas with them. We wish you all a very Merry Christmas whether you travel or stay home this year!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

My Journey

Everyone has their own journey in life. Everyone has their share of trials and weaknesses, pain and sorrow. When I share about my own, it's not to compare or look for sympathy. If anything, I am so blessed in all that has happened throughout my life and all that is currently happening, that most people in the world would probably envy the bliss I enjoy. And yet, even in my happy and joyful circumstances I feel some pain. I know it is part of the experience of mortality and I embrace it, along with all that is good and right. However, I don't enjoy it. My journey right now involves a lot of unknowns and a lot of waiting. Two of the things I hate the most, which is probably one reason I am experiencing them. I can handle bad news, I can handle disappointment, but not knowing is sometimes more than I can take. And waiting for the unknown is even worse. "When?", is a more pressing question that "What?".

We have a great life. I would be totally content to keep things just as they are. We enjoy our daughter, friends and family. We have so much. The problem comes in with the fact that we know there is more for us. This "more" though isn't handed to us on a platter (does that sound familiar to anyone?:) We have to try and figure it out. I don't like it one bit! My sister has a friend going through some questions right now and she doesn't know what to do. She said, "I wish someone would just tell us the right thing" I can totally relate. There is a lot of work in trying to make decisions.

As I have been contemplating lately about what we are doing, our plans and choices, I am frustrated at how long it is all taking. We feel God wants for us to do foster care. I know it is Him leading us, because even now, I probably wouldn't have chosen this direction myself (and I know Doug would agree). I feel confident and at peace with our decision, and that is another way I know it is God leading us. Through all the waiting, through all the unknown, I find great comfort in God's influence and presence in our life. I know He is guiding us and others. I know that He has His timing and that it is perfect. I know I am learning things through this process I couldn't learn any other way. Although I don't always like parts of this journey, I am grateful for a wise God who has me do things I don't like so I can do the work that He has for me, so I can become the person he wants me to be.

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you, let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid" (John 14:27). I have to remind myself that all is well, that all will work out as it is intended, to have patience. As we start this holiday season, I remind myself that God's peace can always be found. One of the greatest gifts of Christ's birth was the blessing for us to be able to receive peace in turbulence, trial and weakness.
My sister-in-law lost her father this last week and we got her and her mother some plants. I always choose a peace lily when someone passes. The gift of peace stills all pain, it allows us to buoy up again to press forward in faith and wait, with patience, for things to come.